Just bros helpin' bros
by badboyblues
Summary: NOT WHAT IT SOUNDS LIKE! Or maybe it is? After a particularly *loud* evening at the Anderson household, Cooper and Finn decide that they should get some payback for all the time that they'd seen their two brothers together. In bed. Spying, pretend-dating, questions and answers, Puckzilla - what on earth is going on? MULTI-CHAPTER, Fooper & Klaine! READ, IT DOES GET BETTER!
1. Chapter 1

" Are they - ? "

" Yup. "

" And you just - ? "

" Indeed I did. "

" Huh. "

Finn sat back, slightly awed and slightly terrified by Blaines eldest brother. The first thing that struck him as odd was that the two brothers looked nothing alike. The second was that they both had those hazel-ish eyes and handsome looks. Handsome looks that had drawn Kurt to that certain brothers bed and -

" Ugh. " The freakishly tall dopey looking boy shuddered, downing even more of his drink. Rubbing his sore eyes, he couldn't help but notice someone was looking at him. That certain someone was one Cooper Anderson. The same Cooper Anderson, may he add, that had barged in with him to see two extremely distracted family members in distress, paused for a moment then took out something from his pocket and threw it to them yelling _BE SAFE_! as some sort of farewell. But yes, Cooper was staring at him. Why? No idea, though knowing the brother it would probably be made clear soon. Nothing too shocking. Well - what else could be more shocking than seeing your brother on the bed wi - that's enough!

" So are you a homophobe? " Now that was shocking. Spluttering over the lip of his drink, Finn choked and flailed for a moment before turning to look honest-to-god shocked at Coopers words. But the man/overgrown-boy just slouched in his chair looking like a kid from a candy shop.

" What? No! Dude! Of course not! " Anxious to make sure that he wasn't being mistaken by something, Finn just stared and started mouthing like a goldfish. Slowly his shocked expression turned confused as Coopers smile slid into a smirk. " Why would you say that? "

" Well, " Chortled the man, and Finn could just imagine him in that-fancy-suit-that-does-has-a-name-beginning-with-A that Kurt was obsessed with, and a top hat on. Damn the British dramas. " You seem pretty shocked when we saw them - ah -_ floundering_. " Even just the qoutation marks over the word made Finn curl in on himself with a strangled cry at the very clear innuendo. How the heck was he going to get round this?

" Well - I mean - dude, it's my brother! I-I - how do I explain this? " Finn glanced nervously over his shoulder as if Kurt were to walk in at any moment ( but with what they'd walked in on, it was clear to see he was preoccupied to say the least ) and leant in closer to the Anderson brother who mirrored his motions. " I don't want to see the bee's and the bee's at the adoption agency. " All said in a serious tone, he thanked the hell that Brittany existed to make such a perfect saying. Cooper leant back, possibly slightly in confusion to look Finn up and down. " Riiiiight. Whatever you say man. "

For the next five or so minutes, the two brothers slouched further into their chairs every time there was a muffled _bump_ from the room upstairs. Of course, that was when Cooper decided to bring the subject up again. " What do you think about karma? "

" Karma? You mean that religious thing? " Cooper nodded, so Finn thought about it for a moment. " Well, nah, I kinda gave up on praying and stuff after the Grilled Cheesus thing. " Another look on confusion from Cooper. Also a look that possibly said _tell me later_, but before he could ask he began talking again. This time it was his turn to lean closer, the fire from the dulling bricked fireplace making his skin look oily. Finn mirrored him, resting on the armchair. Why were they whispering? It wasn't like they could hear them.

" How about, " Coop murmured, a thoughtful look on his face. Something about that look made Finn slightly uncomfortable. But, I mean he had no right. This was Blaines brother right? Sweet innocent Blaine? Surely it was genetic. " We give them a little bit of karma. "

" How would we do that? " Remarked the taller teen, frowning at the can in his hands. It was sweating slightly and he flicked off the droplets whilst waiting for an answer. _Sweet innocent Blaine. Sweet innocent Blaine - genetic._

" Pretend to date. "

Yea, it was the second time that night that Finn spluttered on his drink. Clearing his throat, he turned to stare at Cooper with a wide-eyed stare. Apparently Cooper didn't notice and continued. " I mean - from what I hear from that crazy Rachel chick he sometimes invites over, man she doesn't shut up, you two are having some trouble? And it would be the perfect way to get both our brothers back. " Finn was on the point - _on the point_ - of saying no, when yet another bump clattered over head. Followed by a moan. " Plus, it might get them to shut up for a bit. " Cooper stuck out his hand in a way of saying ' c'mon, it's fine'.

_Bump._

" Oh for the love of - " Taking another long swig from the soon-to-be-empty can, he slapped palms with his soon-to-be-'boyfriend'. " Let's do this. "


	2. Questions

It was safe to say that there was an understandable amount of confusion at the diner table when Finn announced, quite clearly, that he was dating Cooper Anderson.

At first, there was silence. Then Carole's hand came to cover her smile instead murmuring ' _oh my god_ ' and Burts eyes shone, trying to hold back the obvious laugh. And Finn was glad that he'd chose to tell them beforehand about the plan to overthrow Kurt and Blaine on the ' we-are-so-adorably-sweet-you-need-a-dentist ' scale. Glad because this could have gotten _really_ awkward _really_ quickly. The looks on Burt and Caroles face didn't give them away, as they quickly composed themselves, should Kurt look their way. But Kurt - oh my! It really was the icing on the cake!

Dopey smile on his face, it took all he could not to catapult out of the room laughing. For there, a moment before, had sat Kurt with all his dining skills with easy conversation. The next moment, his mouth hung open and his eyes fixed on Finn like an owl. Yup, no manners there. Forks clattered to the plate and a squeak filled the suddenly silent room as his younger - _older_, Finn - brother fell off the chair. He reappeared spluttering after a moment, overpowering Caroles giddy smile at the other end of the table as she watched.

Suddenly a fork was being wielded at him and in defense, Finn rose his hands, going slightly cross-eyed to keep it visible. On the other end of the menacing silver object, was a very menacing and confused looking Kurt. " Finn? Can I speak to you? After diner? Now, infact? Please? " Since when did he sound breathless or slightly scared? Nodding quickly, because the fork was still there, Finn aimed to look clueless. Without really trying. It came too easily. He made his way to get up, but Burt reached out a slightly shaking hand. Trying not to laugh?

" Ah - Finn? Come sit back for a momen'. Tell me about this. . . ah, Cooper guy. " Finn and Kurt both sat down again, Kurt slightly wonky and Finn slightly slouched. What was Burt doing? This wasn't what they'd - " Is it a girl? " Ah of course. The questioning parents.

" No. "

" So it's a guy. "

" Yes. "

Kurt's head was in his arms, groaning with embarrassment and what seemed to be pain. A wounded animal. God. Smiling slightly, in what he hoped was a goofy manner, he blindly answered Burt's questions.

" How old is he? "

" 21. "

" School? "

" Some place in Los Angeles, moving back there at the end of the term. "

" Honey, " Interrupted Carole as Burt looked for another question to reel off to him. Finn was now slightly red in the face, and Kurt even more so. Like he'd been the one talking about his boyfriend over the diner table. . . oh, but the time he'd had to sit down and talk to Carole. He even chuckled at just the memory of his brother hiding away in his room for the whole weekend. With a cheesecake. Or several. " What about that Rachel girl? " Ah, the Rachel-time-part. He'd waited until Blaine and Kurt were - *ahem* - fully distracted before telling the members of the Glee club what was going on, and not to be alarmed or whatever. They just really needed to do this to get back at there brothers.

Personally, he'd thought there would be more conflict - but there was next to none. Quinn had tilted her head slightly then shrugged as if she didn't care. Which she probably didn't. Lauren hadn't been listening. Sam and Mike grinned and fist-bumped each other with a note of ' _finally! some payback!_ '. Santana had cat-called and yelled _GET IT!_ at him. Brittany had asked whether it was the guy from Mario kart and if it was, why hadn't they found the princess yet? That was a very good question. Puck had looked up and Finn waited for the most inappropriate comment. But there was nothing besides, ' sex is sex man. good for you for getting some. ' He had glanced slightly wistfully at Lauren though, when Rachel snapped out of her trance and went on a spiel about her gay dads. Yup. Totally didn't need to know that.

" She's. . understanding enough. "_ Understatement of the century - she even offered me a rainbow badge to wear!_ " She knows that this is. . . what I want and she's all right with that. " For some reason, Kurt tensed at this and soon the dishes were cleared away, Carole scattering off to help Burt in the kitchen with dessert. Leaving the two brothers alone. Kurt, now officially slightly over from that bombshell, turned to stare openly at his brother.

" Have I got something on my face? Or? "

" Finn, let me just get to the point. " Kurt snapped, looking slightly intimidating and Finn slid further back into his chair at it. " Now Cooper gave me the same shit here for Blaine, so I'll get to it. You've answered Burt's questions, but - first of, is this an experiment or something? Or a prank? Because it isn't funny Finn. " Deciding not to answer the now glaring brothers second question, gosh that would have given them away, he went with the first.

" No, it's not an experiment. Coops and I have known each other for as long as you and Blaine have. So no ' oh-you've-only-just-met ' speeches. We've decided that it's that one step up from a bromance and decided to give it a go! " Grinning proudly, the frankenteen dropped his napkin on his lap and lounged back after his story was told.

" Have you kissed? " Kurt persisted, seemingly oblivious to the story he and Cooper had put so much thought into. Well, some thought. All right not a lot. But there had been beer! And crayons. . . and a table. Ah, he'd have to ask about that. Finn deftly shook his head in a very obvious ' no '. He was going to push back from the table when Kurt leant forwards again. " Don't mess with his heart, Finn. Or his mind. I know how confusing you can get, " Finn grinned at that put kept it smothered but coughing bashfully. " Just know that the Anderson brothers are _very_ protective of each. If one gets hurt, the other does too. " Clearly finished with his seat, Kurt swept back from the table in a clear motion to leave when Finn stood up.

" What about us? "

" What? "

" I mean. . . we're brothers now right? We try not to get mad at each other? " The hopeless goofy half-smile that lingered on Finns face was enough for Kurt to sigh and worm his way into his older - _younger_, Finn! - brothers arm and sigh slightly. Relief? Who knew.

" Yea. We are. And I respect your choices, no matter what. "

" Good. " Finn grinned and patted Kurts hair cheekily. " So you wont mind that he's coming over tomorrow _straight after_ football practise. Which means you and Blaine can't have your - ah - alone time. "

Kurt honest-to-god_ growled_ against his chest. " Damn. "


End file.
